Yesterday would have been mine and Bob’s 8th wedding Anniversary and today is 10 years since he proposed. We made it to our 5th and just 18 days later he passed. I’m so thankful for the 5 years of marriage and 11 years of having him by my side. I’m thankful for the amazing boys he gave me and the amazing family of his that I still call mine.
To say his family has been there for me is an understatement.
On Monday our family got some terrible news that Uncle Tim (my mother in laws brother) passed away. October just doesn’t seem to be a great month for us. Even with the pain Becky was going through with losing her brother so suddenly she still made sure to message me that she would be thinking of me on our anniversary and hoped that it would be filled with love and joy knowing how much Bob loved me. Yesterday morning my sister in law messaged me some very kind words too and their support means the world to me.
Grief is such a weird thing and comes and goes whenever it feels like it. This past week leading up to our anniversary has been tough while seeing all the past posts on facebook leading up to my wedding 8 years ago with Bob is quite a strange thing that is hard to explain how it feels. Yesterday I went to the cemetery and as I sat there I looked at Bob’s headstone and our wedding date. In 2016 for our anniversary I was still wearing my wedding ring and I took it off shortly after the 1 year of his passing. Last year I wore my ring that day because I felt I needed to. Wow, those emotions are crazy to figure out and I sat there in tears, both very sad and very happy tears. I know without a doubt that Bob is proud of me and happy for me and the boys.
I don’t know God’s plan or why I’m on this path without Bob but I’m thankful for the time I got with him, thankful for the boys he gave me, the people in my life because of him and the people in my life since losing Bob. I don’t know where I’d be without all of them and I have Bob to thank for that. Even though I shed tears on these big dates I’m glad that part of them can be happy tears knowing I had such an amazing man that loved me and am blessed to have another amazing man love me and my boys now.