Some days I just can’t wait for the day to be over and others I just want time to slow down. Every day though I miss Bob more than anything. Some days he’s on my mind constantly and some not but he’s always there. Today was just one of those days that I couldn’t get Bob off of my mind. I went to brunch with my friend Christina after we dropped the boys off at school and we were able to sit and talk for a few hours. We talked about many things but I talked quite a bit about Bob. It was so nice being able to talk to someone about certain things with him and things that are currently going on in my life. We talked about the few days leading up to his death and the day he died and it was so good to talk about again and just remember those last precious moments with him.
Nine years ago Christina was put into my life when we were both becoming Catholic and God sure knew what he was doing with this one. She’s been such a good friend the past 9 years with anything and everything including my Lupus diagnosis. We’re pretty sure she was meant to walk this journey with me. Her mother was widowed in her 30’s when Christina was a baby and she’s been able to help so much with telling me how her mom responded in certain situations and how it was for her growing up without a dad. Seeing how amazing of a person she turned out to be gives me hope for my boys.
While sitting there talking, this cute little old lady was walking by holding on to the arm of her great grandson. She talked with us and said she will be 99 next month and she doesn’t dye her hair and she has all her teeth. When asked what her secret was, she said, “to always be happy and love the Lord.” What a great response and eye opener. I’ve got the loving the Lord down pretty well but I need to work on the being happy party.
After I got home I was sitting here with Bob still heavily on my mind. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that Mother’s Day is around the corner and he’s the reason I became a mom and he’s not here to celebrate with me or what. We were never big into that stuff anyway but it’s just another day of the year that sucks now that he’s not here. Not too much later my friend Meghan texted me a picture of Bob’s grave. Her and Brandon took flowers out to Bob just because they wanted to visit him. There were the fake ones that say “hero” on them and then there were some real ones. I love knowing that people are visiting Bob besides me, makes me happy. Shortly after, I packed the kids up and headed to Bob’s grave so I could pick up the real ones and bring them home. It’s just what I needed and God knew it. God placed all of these people in my life at certain times when he knew they would play a huge role in my life. I need to start listening to him more for sure because even though I have no idea what I need most days he knows exactly what I need.
The boys are wiping all the grass off of daddy’s headstone in the picture. They wanted to make sure it wasn’t dirty.
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