The afternoon of December 5th is one I’ll never forget. I was finishing up some things before getting ready to go pick up the boys from school when I heard of an Arnold police officer being shot. I immediately texted my friend Barb asking what she knew about it. Barb has always been my go to person when I hear of anything happening to an officer, she always knows and I knew Ryan worked in Arnold. While waiting to hear from her I get a phone call from my friend Meghan asking me what Barb’s husbands name is and I completely drew a blank. I said, “it’s Seamus, wait no it’s not, that’s just an online name and I always almost accidentally call him that, crap, what is his name”. She asked if it was Ryan and I said no but then said yeah that’s it. I seriously don’t know why I couldn’t remember, I mean, Ryan has watched my boys several times and I couldn’t even think. I think I just really wanted it to not be him. Barb texted me back that Ryan was shot and I just lost it.
I called my mother in law to see if she could watch the boys so I could head to the hospital. I had to be there for Barb, she was (and is) always there for me and has become one of my best friends over the last 3 years that I’ve known her. I picked up the boys from school and couldn’t stop crying. Logan asked me what was wrong so I said that one of our friends was hurt. He quickly said “was he shot?”. I didn’t even tell him who but he just assumed it was a police officer and that he had been shot. He knew about what happened to Blake last year so he just assumed it was the same thing. We said a prayer for Ryan and then Logan started talking about when he becomes a police officer. He’s only 6 but he’s still set on becoming a police officer, even after these things happen to the officers we know and many more around the world. After my mother in law picked up the boys I headed to the hospital. There were so many people there already and it was quite overwhelming. After Ryan was out of surgery they wheeled him past all of us while taking him to his room. I don’t think the image of him will ever leave my mind. I could tell it was him but he looked so bad and I knew he would but it was still a shock. All I could do was pray even harder at that point.
Over the last 3 weeks I have been to the hospital many times to be there for Barb but I hadn’t gone to see Ryan. I really didn’t know if I could handle it even though I wanted to see him. My boys have been asking about him a lot and asking when they can see him. You see, Barb and Ryan have a very special place in my heart. About a week after Bob was diagnosed (almost 3 years ago) Barb reached out to me to see if we needed anything. I had no idea who she was, I just knew she was also a police wife and we were both part of the police wives association. Bob and I were never good at accepting help from others so we said no thank you, we were good. Well, Barb isn’t good at taking no for an answer and didn’t give up. She organized meals for us that her and her sister in law Amy delivered and she had Shannon in charge of getting a milk delivery for us from Oberweis so we didn’t have to run to the store for that if we ran out. They were just what we needed in our life at the time even though we are stubborn and hate accepting help. All through Bob’s battle and after he died Barb continued to be there for me. When I needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, someone to help with the boys or someone to just have a drink with, it didn’t matter, she was there and so was Ryan. Several times Ryan watched the boys for me. One night so I could go to a Trivia fundraiser and other nights so Barb and I could get out and catch up. The boys even have nicknames for him, “Captain Smooth” or “Mr. Smooth”. Who really knows where they got these from, we never asked Ryan, but I love that they have them for him. When talking about him they use one of those two names and it just makes me smile. Since Bob died there have been a few guys (besides uncles) that the boys have become attached to and Ryan is one of them, he’s always been good with my boys and always willing to watch them or help out.
I was able to get up to the hospital again today for a little bit and this time I got to see Ryan. We went to his room and Barb told me to go ahead and she didn’t come in with me. It was so good but so very emotional at the same time. He looked so much better than he did 3 weeks ago but seeing all the machines was difficult and brought back the memories of Bob in the ICU. One of the Arnold officers was there and he came into the room also. We talked and I told him about Bob and how I know Barb and Ryan and he told me about when he worked in Ferguson with Ryan and being shot. The nurse that was in the room with us said she was going to start crying hearing us talk about our situations.
These photos were taken over the summer when we got together with Barb, Ryan, Amy and Sam and they mean a lot to me. In the one Ryan is putting his shoes on to take Caleb outside to play and in the other Caleb is passed out while Ryan is holding him. I’m pretty sure Caleb was crying and upset about something and just really tired and Ryan picked him up and calmed him down.
This photo was taken on the 1 year anniversary of Bob’s death. Barb and Ryan met me at the shooting range. They have always been there when I needed them, even if it is just to shoot guns and relieve stress.
Please continue to keep Ryan and the O’Connor family in your prayers. If you’d like to donate, you can do that here: https://www.gofundme.com/support-arnold-po-ryan-oconnor