Everyday after school I ask the boys how their day was and what all they did. I think it’s good to know what’s going on at school and especially this last year with not being able to go to their school for class parties or to have lunch with them it’s nice to stay up to date.
Logan has told me a few times about a couple kids that like to push him down at recess because they think it’s funny. I’ve always asked him the whole story to this to make sure he didn’t do something first and it’s always the same thing, these kids are just jerks. The one kid is always getting in trouble so I definitely know it’s not Logan starting anything.
Well, this past Friday he told me that the same kid was being mean to another kid. After asking him more about it and what he was doing that was mean he said that the kid was saying, “haha, your mom died” to another kid and making fun of him. I asked if the other kids mom died and he said she did and he thought it was in January or February but he couldn’t remember. The kid whose mom died ending up biting the other kid because of it and my only response was, “good for him, that kid deserved it”. Now usually I’m not one to condone violence but I am one to protect myself and stand up for myself. That’s how I was raised and that’s how I’m raising my boys.
I had talked to a friend and her son told her the same story about this kid so again, I know it’s not something Logan is making up. This has bothered me ever since he told me and the best way to get it off my chest is to write about it so here I am.
After he told me this I asked if those kids know that your daddy died and he said no. I told him it would be nice of him to reach out to the kid whose mom died and tell him about your daddy. He wants to but he doesn’t want the other kid to find out that his dad died because he doesn’t want him saying anything like that to him. Logan and Caleb both got really defensive and said what they would do to someone if they said that to them about their daddy including putting them in a headlock, haha. While I’m proud of them I also told them they can’t do those things. This is one of the few reasons why I’m glad that the boys were younger when Bob died rather than the age they are now. Kids didn’t have the chance to say these mean things because they were only 2 and 4.
It makes me so mad that there are kids like this. These kids are 3rd graders and are acting like this. My kids aren’t perfect but you better believe if they were continually being bullies or saying anything like this I would put a stop to it. Makes me wonder what their parents are like or what their home life is like. I’m so glad I never had to deal with kids saying these things to my boys because I know those parents would get an earful from me.
What frustrates me most about this is knowing that my boys are scared to let anyone know their dad died because they are afraid of things like this happening. We talk about Bob all of the time and for them to feel like they can’t in certain situations is sad. They always know they can ask me any questions about him and I’ll answer them. There’s hardly a day that goes by that when they do something I tell them they’re just like their daddy or that’s something your dad would do. Caleb usually gets pretty quiet though since his memories of Bob just aren’t there but that’s why I’m thankful for the photos and videos we have of them together and encourage him to ask questions.
I guess I got off track a bit from the title of this blog but I encourage you as parents to start talking to your kids, ask them about their day, question things when they don’t add up or ask other parents if they’ve heard the same story. I know my kids aren’t always going to be innocent in all of these situations but if I don’t question things and find out the truth then how can I teach them to be better. Teach your kids to be respectful and not little assholes.
Yes!!! Parents 100% need to do better!! I HATE this type of stuff.
I’m sorry your son and classmates are experiencing this. I wonder if this 3rd grade child is pushing/teasing the child that lost his mother because the aggressor is afraid? Bully’s sometimes lash out because they are fearful and afraid of something and they don’t have the words or skills to deal with it. Perhaps one of his parents is ill. Maybe he lost a neighbor or another family member? Talking to the school about this could bring needed support to children and help them with more appropriate behavioral and emotional coping strategies.
Oh I was absolutely thinking that too. I did look up the kid and his family and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary but not everyone shares things online like I do so it’s hard to tell. My son said nothing has happened since then so I’m hoping that the school got it all figured out. They do go to an amazing school and they are usually really on top of things.
I really love all your posts. You truly are an amazing mom. I always wonder too how parents are treating their kids or if the parents know what their kids are really doing. We are trying to teach our daughter to be nice and not do things because she might get made fun of in school. She will be starting kindergarten and we are getting nervous. Keep up the good work. I also think about the times of you and Bob working at Walmart and how we joked around.
Thanks so much Adam! You and Jess are great parents so I’m sure your daughter will do great in school. I miss those days all working together, such good times!