Pregnancy is hard in general. Add to it being high risk and you have more issues to think about and deal with. Then add to it a pandemic and everything is just crazy.
One thing a lot of people don’t think about, I think, is the toll that this can take on your mental health. Having to go to appointments alone, without your significant other, can be overwhelming. It’s not fair to the significant other to not be able to be part of this experience either. Erik was luckily able to go to my first ultrasound with me and then my 20 week appointment but everything else has been on me. Finding childcare during all of this isn’t the easiest either. My sister in law was also pregnant during this time (just had my newest nephew a week ago!) so sometimes my mother in law wasn’t available to watch my boys because of needing to help out my SIL. I’ve also been struggling with asking my inlaws to watch the boys for my appointments. I absolutely know they are happy for me and the boys that we are moving forward in our lives and have found happiness again but I’m sure it’s not the easiest for them to see. It’s not easy for me either, I struggle with these emotions all of the time. I’m so extremely happy with Erik and the fact that we’re bringing a baby girl into the world soon but I am also very sad that Bob isn’t here and the boys no longer have their dad. Unless you’ve been through it, it’s hard to understand and it’s hard for me to explain.
I have lucked out and have been able to take the boys with me to several appointments. They’ve had to wear masks for them just like everyone else and have actually done pretty good. It’s still a stressful process taking them along. For my iron infusion last week I wasn’t able to take them and I have one tonight that I can’t take them either so I’ve had some help with that. Starting next week I have my twice a week monitoring that they are also not allowed to go to. I’ll have those appointments until baby girl arrives. I did hire a girl here in town to watch them during those appointments until school starts so that will be helpful. Still a little scary having someone not in your family watching them right now during the pandemic. The virus is still a thing and seems like it will be for a while. I’m not sure how else you’re supposed to do it though if these appointments are a necessity but you’re not allowed to bring them with you.
I had an appointment today that the boys went to with me because it was just a check up and supposed to be quick. We ended up having to go get monitoring done because baby girl gave us a bit of a scare. The boys definitely didn’t want to be there any longer than we were and I honestly didn’t want them there especially if something did end up being wrong. Luckily all is well with baby girl and she was probably just playing with or sitting on her umbilical cord causing the issue. She’s definitely keeping me on my toes already.
I’ve still been extremely exhausted so it doesn’t seem like the iron infusion has helped yet. It’s only been a week and I have my second one tonight. They said it usually takes about a week for numbers to start going up so hoping to feel better soon. That’s the latest updates so far, we’re only about 7 weeks away until she’s here.