Haven’t written a post on here at all this year. I always have so much to say but never seem to find the time to write it all out or know where to start half the time. For the most part this year has been great but there are a few things that happened that it’s just hard to get past.
I found my wedding dress so that’s a positive! All of my bridesmaids were able to be there with me and it worked out perfectly since our schedules are all over the place. Erik and I got all of the big stuff for the wedding figured out too so now just smaller details to figure out and get it all done. It will be here before we know it.
Caleb made his First Communion this year which I was glad to get through. It’s one of the things I promised Bob before he died that the boys would do and we have accomplished it.
Logan is doing amazing in baseball this season for not having played in several years because of moving and covid. It’s so much fun to watch him learn and grow. He even made his pitching debut last game and did great for never having done it before.
One thing that’s been bothering me and just seems to overshadow all of the good things in my life is people who I thought were friends just disappearing from my life. No matter how many times I reach out and try to make plans they either don’t respond or say they’ll let me know and next thing I know it’s been weeks or months without a response. I know people have lives but when you see them out doing things with others they obviously have time just no time for you for whatever reason. I mean a simple call or text go a long way when you don’t physically have the time to get together in person.
A friend I’ve known for 15 years decided to delete me from facebook. I haven’t seen her since I moved although I’ve tried. I literally looked back on our messages and I asked when we could get together several times and she was always busy or said she’d let me know. I last heard from her in March when I reached out and she said maybe we could get together this summer because she’s been busy but then 2 months later she just up and deletes me. I reached out to her after I noticed and haven’t heard anything back. I honestly know people grow apart but seriously? We used to get together all the time, our boys were best friends from birth and now nothing. I said before it’s not the first person and I know it won’t be the last but how hard is it to have an adult conversation about it? I’m 37 and she’s 10 years older, you’d think we could be mature and have a conversation but apparently not.
This same thing is happening with other friends as well. I reach out and try to get together and hear nothing or I’ll let you know. Weeks go by and nothing. It’s hurtful, just be honest with me. There are some friends I don’t see for years because of distance but we still make time for each other when it works out to actually get together. I honestly don’t know how some people don’t have an hour to spare to grab lunch? My schedule is pretty much open and I will work around yours but I guess it’s not good enough or I’m not good enough and no longer wanted in their lives. If it was just me it’d be one thing but when the kids are involved it makes it harder. When your kids are friends with theirs it’s difficult. My boys will no longer see some of their friends because I’m no longer wanted in their lives.
Same thing happened with Bob’s bio dad. I don’t call him my father in law anymore because he doesn’t deserve that title. Bob’s stepdad is my father in law and is always there for me and the boys. His bio dad hasn’t seen them since 2017. He deleted me from facebook and no longer reached out. I assume it’s because of an issue he has with me but the boys are the ones hurt by it. He tells his family he misses the boys and wants to see them but that’s the exact opposite since he’s the one that cut himself out of our lives. They’ll never know him and honestly they are better off.
You’d think nothing would surprise me anymore but it does. I guess as the years go by this will happen more and more and you’ll learn who is truly meant to be in your life but man it’s hard going through these changes and missing a friendship you had that was once great. It’s been interesting when making the wedding guest list because my friend of 15 years was on it and now she’s not and it’s kind of scary going through it wondering who else won’t be on it by the time April rolls around because they no longer want to be in your life.
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