Two posts in one day!? What?! No, seriously, I haven’t posted in a month.
Everything has been absolutely crazy. I have had to do all this stuff but haven’t had the time to do it.
Bob and I have always planned for the future; saved money for things we wanted rather than put it on a credit card, saved money for the boys for college, thought about what would happen to the boys if we weren’t here, etc.
We had started a will back before he was diagnosed. With my health issues and him being a police officer we thought it was the right thing to do. We had talked about everything, who would get the kids, if they couldn’t do it then who would be the next in line, who would be in charge of the money and our things, etc. Well, we never finalized anything but at least I knew what we both wanted. I FINALLY got my will finalized and a Trust Fund set up for the boys. I was holding on to these checks for the boys trust fund since Bob’s funeral and now I can check that off my list. It was all a very overwhelming experience. I should not have to do that at my age but I’m now the solo parent and have to make sure my kids are taken care of if something happens. Honestly, I suggest that everyone have a will set up no matter their age. Do it while the both of you are still alive, you need to make sure your kids are with who you really want them to be with, God forbid something happens to you. It will be a much easier, simpler process if you do it together. Don’t think you’ll have all the time in the world to do it (because obviously, you don’t) and don’t think about the cost of a will when it’s your children’s future at stake.
Now that I don’t have to worry about the Will and Trust, I have to get my taxes done. Yikes! Bob and I always used Turbo Tax and always had them finished by the 2nd week of February but here it is almost April. A company did send a card to the precinct for Bob last year saying they would do a free tax return for us for this year so at least I have that. Now it’s just getting all the paper work together and boy do I have a lot of it. If you didn’t know, you can claim mileage to doctor appointments/hospital stays. I knew just because we claimed it when I was pregnant with both boys. Being high risk and seeing 3 different specialists I had a lot of appointments. My mileage was never a ton but it was enough to claim. Well I added up our mileage from last year and we basically drove to California and back and then some. Wow! That’s a lot of miles. What I would give to have actually driven that with Bob instead of what we really had to do.
As I’m gathering all my stuff I realize that I can’t find half of the bills I paid so then I have to call the hospitals and ask for my totals. I called Mercy and they gave me all the info over the phone, just need Bob’s social and a few other things and no big deal. Oh yeah and she said sorry for my loss.
Well then I call Barnes and the woman on the phone was quite rude. I told her the same thing, I need to get the totals of what I paid last year for taxes. She asks for my account number and I say, I don’t have it plus he had a lot of accounts because you get a new one every time you’re admitted. After I give her his name and social to look up his accounts she decides that she needs Bob to call her because she can’t give me that information. I said, well he died at Barnes so that should be listed there. She gets an attitude and says, “well, it’s not”. Of course I’m crying at this point. After arguing with her about it I finally get my totals.
Seriously, how come you have to sign the stupid forms that are “can we share this info with so and so” and other ones similar? I was always listed on everything of Bob’s. If they couldn’t get him they could leave a message with me and I was listed that I could get medical info if I called rather than him. Why go through all of that and then get an attitude when I’m asking for my totals. Also, I’m the one who signed every check written for any medical bills, that was my job. Just so frustrating.
So I’m done with Mercy and Barnes and need my total from Walgreens for meds. I printed mine online but Bob never set up an online account so I had to call about his. Same thing, we need him to call and we can send it to your address or he can come in. I think I was still crying from talking to Barnes and I said that he passed away in October. She said, “I’m so sorry, gosh, you sound young, how old was he?” “Yes, I am young and he was only 31.” She said I just needed to bring in a copy of the death certificate and I could get them. Here I am at Walgreens picking up my own pills and standing there with Bob’s death certificate and tears just start coming. I feel like an idiot crying in public but then I just get mad, I look around and see all these people and they are complaining about how much their meds are or that something is wrong with their order and it just makes it worse.
Seriously, I hate complaining but I feel that I do it a lot more now. Just look around you and see all the good that God has done for you. If I can go through what I’ve gone through/am going through then you can stop complaining about something so stupid and not important. I’m not trying to say woe is me and feel sorry for me, I’m just saying it could always be worse. My situation as bad as it is could definitely be worse and I thank God it’s not. Just be thankful for another day. Bob and I would always thank God for another day and I still do. Don’t be upset when plans get pushed back or ruined because your husband/wife has to work late, be thankful that they’re still alive to have to work late. I know it’s not something you want to think about but you really should. Seriously think about how different your life/your children’s lives would be without that person and just thank God they’re still with you.
Sorry for going on a little rant but I just couldn’t help it.